2004 and I

2004 would be counted as one of those satisfying years in my life. Satisfying in all respects. Emotionally, Socially, Financially and work wise. And these are in the order of priority that I rate these values/necessities and not in the order of how successfully I have achieved each. Frustration is contagious. If I am left in a world where nobody cribs, then I would be happy. And if I am stuck with a bunch of dissatisfied people, I would be no different from any of those. The point is, I am very easily influenced and convinced by people. Considering this, I was pretty unhappy in 2003. The salary hike issues, promotion issues, TCC issues, onsite etc etc. When you find one reason to be unhappy, then the rest of the reasons follow very easily. I did not have any scarcity of reasons for not being happy. Coming back to what I intend to write about.. (I have this really bad habit of swaying away from the topic).

So, Emotionally…I would not say that it was emotionally blissful. But there are quite a few things that made me realize what was right and what was not. For instance, my love life. All through my life I never asked myself, ‘why?’ Why do I do the things that I do? Why do I screw up things? Why don’t I listen to people? I avoided these topics. But certain circumstances forced me to answer these questions to myself. And I had answers as to why I do it. (That would be a separate blog by itself, so I would prefer to move on.). I realized that what I have been doing all this time was wrong. I am not embarrassed, guilty or sorry about anything that I have done. I just say it was wrong. I don’t want to sound too egoistic, but the point is , Accept things as they are. Love unconditionally. If someone cannot understand you or you could not understand someone, your love cannot materialize into a relationship. So what? She is still the best person you have met. You are still the best guy you have met.

One emotionally happiest moments was that I got to spend 10 months with my bother. I would cherish this all my life. I have certain things that I do not like about him. His acceptance of American culture, the change in his thinking and a few other things. I still enjoy going to him during weekends.

Socially… In the last one year I saw a completely different culture. The culture that has its own goods and bads, plusses and minuses. All said, in my opinion, the best part about the US culture is their socializing (closely follow is their entrepreneurial capability) . Socializing is a very scary word to be used when you are with a generation older than you. By socializing I do not mean one night stands and dance clubs. I mean talking to people in general. Its about talking in general. I needed US to teach me that I need to talk more. I need to be more open and express myself. This makes the life simpler. Introvertism makes you secluded from the group. I don’t say that everyone needs to go to US to know it. It happened that I realized it in the US. One noticeable thing in India – when you meet strangers you do not exchange smiles. Instead you exchange stares. Ever thought why? Are we not a cynical lot? Yes we are. In Milwaukee, when you see anyone on the streets, you first smile. That breaks the awkwardness. That’s my personal opinion. After all it is my personal blog!!

Financially, oh yeah. I made enough money in the last one year. But also realized that its not money that I long for. May be I was looking for that first couple of lakhs to start of with all the investment plans that I had. Never the less, the M factor brought in a lot of stability in my thoughts and in my approach. As I said , I get influenced by people easily. I wanted money because others wanted money. But now I don’t care about money as much as I care about what I want to do with it. Investments, tax savings, stocks. My financial stability gave me opportunity to give a shape to these.

Work wise... Work comes last in priority of these four. But what US taught me was, be happy with your work. You are a part of a system. And the purpose of the system is to make your life and others life simpler and more comfortable. The limit of money you want in life is in your head. But I have to mention that the work during my stay in the US was good. There was a lot of interaction with the clients and was interesting to pick their mannerisms, to know how they think and to know what they think about you. So that was very satisfying.

Having said all this, now I am confused. Did these things that I mentioned made me happy or was I happy and so the things worked out the way they did. I am not sure. But yes, at the end of it all I would like to repeat this performance in 2005. I have started with a good note. Hope things take a good shape.